I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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