This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize