I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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