If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
