we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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