Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?