you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
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Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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