I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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