Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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