Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize