Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize