Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.