I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.