after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....