i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
