the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
