so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Randomize
