I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It happened again.
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food