Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.