I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
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Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
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