youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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