I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize