evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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