Don't you send me to vm
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
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