i don't like sucking hair
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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