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Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
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