just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
