I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I can't put those talents on a resume
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize