Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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