the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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