nutella sex= disaster
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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