There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE