My nipple is on Facebook.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.