Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.