i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.