does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can