she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
