I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
