piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
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u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
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Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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