You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
