I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.