Plan B is the new Plan A
Bea Arthur died! :(
Big bird passed.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again