I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.