New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
