I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
