mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize