So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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