I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize