I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
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Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
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You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
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