This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize