Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
