i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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