i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize