I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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