she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
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And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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