Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
