i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize