party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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