Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize